Hobbies and Motherhood

Today I have a treat for you: another article by my delightful daughter Meishe. I definitely agree that hobbies as a mother help us find joy in our role. Without further ado, here are Meishe’s thoughts on hobbies and motherhood:

You always hear that it’s difficult to pick up new hobbies as a mom, but I’m happy to report that I’ve picked up quite a few in the nine months since my son, Peter, was born. So here’s a list of some of my new skills that I think are totally super achievable in the first few months postpartum.

* Comedy — it takes a few months, but now I can make this kid laugh until he throws up — literally. My routine includes sticking out my tongue, peekaboo, and poking Pete in the belly.

* Wrestling — keeping him on his back for not just three seconds, but the entirety of a diaper change requires some real skill, and I’d like to see someone inexperienced try this and succeed.

* Getting Poop Out of Everything — including Peter, of course

and the five great Bs

* Breastfeeding while doing my makeup (impressive, right?)

* Breastfeeding while stirring dessert

* Breastfeeding while hiking

* Breastfeeding while showering

* Breastfeeding pretty much anywhere you can imagine

Jokes aside, I’ve picked up some traditional hobbies too. Recently, I expressed a desire to try something new. My husband, Josh, has made a great effort to find me both the supplies and the time. I haven’t been consistent, but I’ve experimented with:

* Sketching

* Painting

* Sewing

* Embroidery

* Reading new genres

* Thrifting (maybe not a new hobby but definitely getting more into it)

* Running

* Doing puzzles

* Exploring museums

* And of course, since here we are, writing

My husband, Josh made this possible. Without him taking the initiative to buy me paints, teach me to sew, and spend some quality time with his son, I’m not sure I ever would have done most of these. I’d be too guilty for “wasting time.” I’m so grateful for him!

I could still have hobbies without his help. I am, after all, a strong, independent young woman with boundless energy on the days Peter sleeps through the night. Technically speaking, I can do anything if I just buckle Peter into his high chair and get him some snacks. I’ve been gifted an easy baby and I’m a stay at home mom, both of which are probably the most ideal situations to start motherhood with. But with a baby (and I imagine it’s even harder with multiple children), your brain is constantly focused on baby’s needs, husband’s needs, and your own. I feel like I rarely even have the brain capacity to want to try anything new, much less take the initiative to actually do it. I’m too busy thinking about the next meal, the next trip to the laundromat, and a strange rash on Peter (how is it that babies always have something funky going on?).

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what makes a life worth living. Obviously I don’t think it’s just hobbies. I think it’s the relationships you build and the work you do. Motherhood is so fulfilling, and there’s nothing I’d rather be doing with my life. But taking the time to sit down and write a poem or go to a museum or read a new kind of book makes life more fun! Learning something new is so invigorating. It makes for a more flexible mom. It makes for a healthier mom. It makes for a mom who wants to do fun stuff.

Having hobbies as a mom does require additional help. Sure, I haven’t been a mom very long, and I really do have the easy version, but I’m so much happier when I get a chance to do something fun and a little irresponsible! And even in my situation, it’s not something I would ever end up doing on my own. Before becoming a mom, I didn’t realize that finding time and motivation to do hobbies outside of mom stuff would require even more support. So if that’s you, get your husband to talk to mine. Josh is full of ideas.

Now that I’m a mom, hobbies are an important part of my life! I have my husband to thank. I’m learning to lose the guilt and to gain a sense of success, whether I sew a drawstring bag or type out this essay. Hobbies and motherhood can and should be more compatible. Get out there and do something. If it helps to start counting daily activities as a hobby, do it. Cooking is a hobby. Gardening is a hobby. Go water those plants, girl. But also sketch your baby while he plays. And take more pride in it than ever before because making room for hobbies as a mom is a huge accomplishment.

— Meishe